Foreword: if you can't take angst, then you can stop reading at the next full-stop. "why so much anger?", you might ask. well, at this moment in time, anger is an emotion that feels 200% better than feeling sad and shitty.no one stays the same. everyone changes. we change to suit our environment, our needs, our desires. the strive to be constant, to be unselfish and a "better person", is an ideal that cannot survive in this less than perfect world we live in. as a proponent of this ideal once, i would like to declare that it is dead, and has already grown mold in the grave. we like to think otherwise, that the world and the people in it aren't so bad after all. but the truth is we serve ourselves first and foremost, and we serve ourselves best.
for those who have some clue about what i've been through over the past few months, i would like to say I WILL *NOT* LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN, AND IT ENDS HERE *NOW*. and so, in many senses, i AM truly back from the dead. "born again", so to speak. as the smashing pumpkins aptly says it in
Bodies,
love is suicide my friends. for those who have been supportive during this period, be it drinking buddies (you know who you are), smoke buddies (largely the same group as before), bitch buddies, and friends who have given advice, you do indeed have my sincere thanks. if you guys need anything, short of getting rid of a corpse, i will do my best to help if i can.
The time has come, to serve myself for a change.
"You have good things in store and plans to prosper us... but how am i in ANY way better now than before?"
